From The IDRM Dark Web Files – Gustav Fedoseev and Aldo Pimptronic Private Communique Intercepted

IDRM Classified Log #6809 / Security Level: Delta.

aldo pimptronic idrm

We were able to intercept a private conversation between wanted felon Gustav Fedoseev (pictured below) and Aldo Pimptronic (pictured right), which spans about 8 days and which reveals to us many details our department has been seeking for months.  Here we finally confirm the association with both Waldo Jefferson and Jocasta Ambrosia, and we are able to narrow down some specific locations we have been searching for – namely London, England.  We are working to close in on Gustav’s location as we speak and hopefully nab him, but, as an added and unexpected bonus to our organization, the conversation here is of particular special interest because it gives us vital insight into Gustav’s psychology which prior to this was simple speculation.  Now we can see that he’s starting to crack, from his own lifestyle choices it seems.  Our psychologists will analyze it all, and we will keep everything found here for future records.  Clearly Aldo and Gustav have become friends, unless this is a staged conversation to throw us off Gustav’s trail, perpetrated by Gustav himself. 

gustav fedoseev

We think that “pizza” is most certainly code for a type of drug we found on the street being delivered to the gangs by The Big Cat (one of his creations, no doubt), or a semi-conductor we’ve heard rumour of for quite some time that is being implemented in a nefarious project called Moonshake.  This information in this document presented here is confirmed authentic by <CODENAME BISMARK, L2> and relatively current – all culled from the past 2 weeks by our new successful crawler, which we have named SocialBot-Y97.  If we can catch Gustav this time, he will most assuredly lead us to IDRM.  We believe the following exchange took place on Facebook, by the nature of the conversation and some other telltale details.  We pick up the convo mid stream, from just over a week ago. 

January 6th, 2018 / 8:32am, EST 

GF: I’m just looking forward to free counselling that their government will provide….

AP: You have a knack for seeking out that sort of support.  Norway has always <text truncated> It’s a big part of their charm..

GF: Lol Well when I was in psychotherapy, the psychologists were my best friends, and I was always a bit sad I couldn’t hang out with them..

AP: makes sense

GF: Ugh, you just get so into open convos

<time lapse of 5 hours>

GF: Yo

AP: yoo

GF: Currently at drs.  Got the stuff, and the other stuff. 😉

AP: nice

GF: i’m also sick…mine’s just like a headache and a cold but i feel pretty horrible

AP: Uh oh…what doctor are you at? The one in Pickwich? i was gonna come up that way to pick it up but i’m kinda .. like half dead

GF: Just stopping by my lady’s place…she’s waiting, wants to get plowed.  Gotta love how direct she is huh?  She even says “plowed”.. it’s so vulgar.  Anywayz I’m just finishing up some real actual business, then walking back to their apt to get those light fixtures…

AP: ah

GF: mhmmm

AP: yo so are you in town then…i’m trying to get away from you know who for a bit at some point

GF: Ahh Ok

AP: i’ve been stuck here all day just feeling crappy and having to do all this work. hacking their system is taking forever.

GF: OK, well I’m just eating. But pretty much g2g at any point

AP:  are you wanting to head back to home base first or don’t care

GF: Well I have to go back there at some point

AP: ah ok well we can make that trek..maybe make a little pitstop

GF: OK,  well that’s cool,  just let me know whenev…No rush at my end

AP: ok

<70 minutes later>

AP: hey so i’m leaving soon i just gotta swing by the Cecil’s and get that dart gun so i’ll be there in like 30 ish mins.  The poison has been added to the darts too, and they’re all in the case like you were asking for.  

GF: ok…o i’ll go down at 6:30.. message me if you are here sooner because i gotta bring the van around

AP: yep

GF: hey are you around after midnight at all…we can do a run…grab some glitter, head to the dock…have some fun fun with some bims.  maybe tomorrow we could all hang out at Sandy’s and we can get those turbines working.  they won’t repair themselves.  wat you think

AP: No good.

GF: No good?

AP: You left town too soon, won’t work.

GF: Oh shoot.  Yes, I mean. Yes around tomorrow and I have the gear needed.  I want to get the accelerator working so we can pay a quick visit to 1976.  Someone I want you to meet there.

AP: Ah, so the no was for tonight.  Who do you want me to meet?

GF: Yes, her name is Alese?  Currently, she is someone you both know and love.  It will be a surrpise… plus, you never seen disco up close like this.. club 54 and all that .. anyway what u sayin tonight?

AP: I’m just dead tired, and just got in, ducking freezing g cold, and I’m in bed with Jammie’s and touch, under 3 blankness, and sucking my thumb *Blankies *Touque …I give up on typing

GF: haha yeah actually i’m still a bit under the weather here too.. Hep C but i’m going to hit up 2300 when they managed to fix it with a pill

AP: it’s been a brutal day somehow

GF: U don’t want to go out.  It’s really cold

AP: Ah but i need to get hot chocolate..did you already have some?

GF: yeah i did…it was a good idea

AP: Ugh,  I wish I had a hot water bottle…I’m going to make one I think

GF: good idea

AP: I remember I did a speech on my hot water bottle in grade seven,  and the class laughed so hard at me,  I went into hysterics and could continue. (0)  is what ole Miss Sleck said. Could not regain control of her bladder.  Anyway I’ll meet you downstairs.

<26 hours later>

AP: yo what you sayin tonight?

GF: Forgot I told Tiny I’d head out with him..  Not sure what time back cause he wants to whack some fool

GF: where u heading?

AP: London…anyway lemme know what the plan is, i’d be down to hang out and blaze a couple if you’re around but if not it’s freezing and i can just hide out here.  there’s a titty film on tonight i wanna watch.

GF: i am kinda hankering for a night of renting some chickies and chillin listening to some trax.  you can have the master bedroom if Juanita is there.  i know what she’s like.  but at the same time, if you’re out for a while maybe it’s a no go.. either way, it’s cool.  Call Juanita first, then call me back.

AP: Ugh,  just got to go out and look after Tiny’s cousin,  not sure what time am back.  I let u know…Ugh equals yah

GF: ok doke

AP: Ugh,  tonight’s not gonna work.  Maybe next weekend we can meet up and hack that mainframe. 

GF: ah well ok then, enjoy the eve

<3 days later>

GF: I gotta get out of the place for noon,  and am thinking about going to applewood plaza to add cell time..  Not sure what ur up to?  Want to get pizza?

AP: haha of course but i’m going over to my buddy Calvin’s for a few hours today.. that’s about it i’ll be busy til later i guess

GF: OK,  well give me a shout.  I hacked that guy’s computer and got those nudes you wanted.  Some big time celebs.  Good shit, I previewed em.  I gotta get to bed early tonight but should be around in aft.  If it works out,  otherwise talk to u online.  The capacitor is broken again.

AP: Have you talked to Coconut lately?  He came in the other day with a bruise.  I thought it was from <text error>

GF: haha she always does that… anyway aight what’s the word

AP: Still jammin mon

GF: yah that’s cool – i’m actually probably not gonna be into going anywhere except out for a bison burger – i’ve been downtown since 11, ran into Big Cat, got some Z’s and also some H’s and need to go home and eat, and probably chill.  I’m sort of tired, already.  Was up since 4:30..  Ah life.

AP: Damn son

GF: yeah i got up at 11 today and was exhausted all day..i can’t handle “4:30” spent 4 hours today doing a hip hop beat. gave me a headache tho..  ah life indeed

AP: well we can meet up this week anyway maybe listen to some tunes.. do you know about the Skatenigs? for some reason i’m in a tune listening mood, as long as it’s Skatenigs or Marilyn Manson

GF: Ya good call I’ll let you know.  I’m going to be working OT this week every night, but should be home 6ish. 7/9:00 is a good window during week.  the Binary Forest guys came by, dropped off that funny looking satellite dish.  They also sent me this pic and asked if i knew who it was hold on i’ll send it

Jocasta Ambrosia

GF: can you believe it?  

AP: Well well lookie who it is.  <image is of Jacosta Ambrosia – confirmed by Bismark>

GF: Yep.  anyway, i just said nah i have no idea

AP: Your the worst.  Anyway, wahtever.  What sports were you guys playing?

GF: We played football, hacky sack.  It was super tiring.  Anyway I’m toast. ttyl

AP: k sounds good

<6 hours later>

AP: Up yet?

GF: God no

AP: so you’re crashing soon then eh

GF: I am crashed still from before…I started watching a hitchens talk on George Orwell,  and I think it’s the British accents,  but I’ve been in and out of consciousness

AP:  yeah that’d do it

GF: have you seen the movie The Great Ape.  I sent it to ya via drive

AP: Lol,  have to watch it tomorrow because my data is slow,  but gets reset tomorrow

GF: can you do me a favour and not use the time machine til next wed

AP: Why

GF: i need it for some runs

AP: Ok sure that’s fine

GF: Ok peace

<8.5 hours later>

GF: Sorry. Accidentally called

AP: ah i heard that downstairs

GF: Tonight and tomorrow  probably out for doing the test run.  I’m here at work til after 6 both nights.. Wed night might be OK tho and i’ve got some of that crazy pink weed

AP: ok cool i’ll keep er in mind…power through that OT

GF: Yah,  I’m gonna set a good pace for 2018

AP: so far so good man… you’re doing alright, this won’t be like last year that’s for sure.  couldn’t get worse than that

AP: Amen

<48 hours later>

GF: what up

AP: oh just waiting for sandman.  You?

GF: ah hanging with Waldo at my place just chillin and having a few dranks

AP: nice..

GF: yeah just sitting here waiting for the sun to set

AP: yup, Waldo says hi btw

GF: tell him hey.  how’s the chair?

AP: Great, love it.  I have the same chair.. makes sitting a pleasure

GF: I Do also.  Especially with this chair

AP: oh ya that chair

GF: yes this chair, is a favorite of the party goers of the one party i had..I started not to like all the people in my chair though – sort of.. a three bears type thing

AP: yeah getting possessive

GF: i think it’s because a lot of the wood chairs I had, are now broken from people sitting on them, so i’m trying to protect my only good

AP: yeah it’s all you need that chair

GF: yah. it’s my favorite thing

AP: enjoy it … while it lasts!

GF: yah…  fair warning

<50 hours later>

AP: what up there diggidy dawg? today/tonight would be as good a time as any to find those two blondes and bring em in

GF: drivings not the best though, must say

AP: yeah, i was just out.. it’s a slip n slide.. but we need to go after them.  they lost the orb

GF: the black one?  yah i figured a much

AP: i’m a bit of a pickle too.. Waldo seems to have lost my cash which means i haven’t been paid this week which means i’m in deep shit

GF: ooh booy

AP: i had to borrow money from Big Cat to pay off my bookies and that was uncomfortable as usual

GF: i borrowed a bag of rubies from Chaka Zulu also to pay rent – so it goes

AP: so now i seem to have broken out in a rash and i’m just kinda stressed..

GF: understandable

AP: yeah it sucks.. i get the horse racing check in the mail, and there’s nothing i can do to track it or anything and they have til the end of the month to deliver it, although it consistently comes around the 6th.. but Robbie’s being pain. losing shit

GF: i guess Xmas fucked things up or the mailman dropped it

AP: maybe…so i have found a way around it maybe but it’s a long shot.. is Chaka around today?

GF: sorry bro .. but that’s weird there’s no tracking available for it but i guess snail mail is like that.  What happens if someone else named Aldo Pemberton takes it <we’ve confirmed this is one of Pimptronic’s aliases>

AP: That one place sold by the way, but I have no deets.  There was supposed to be a home inspection today but it was cancelled due to weather

GF: fuck eh.. we kinda need that 30K.  yeah apparently if you put a snake in a bag crossing the border, all possibilities for tracking cease and they usually get a hold of the snake.  this one was an asp

AP: you don’t say.. well, not that they’d track it to begin with

GF: yeah i don’t know.. if someone else gets it, they can’t cash it in.. a wild asp is not common

AP: hmmm

GF: anyway the situation is getting a bit fucked, cause every day there’s a bit of a financial pile up as some bill bounces or some person wants their money.  Waldo did this, it’s his fault.  Too busy gaming and smoking cheeba the bloody moron.  i swear

AP: this is just following the thing that Mr. C. penalized my minions and killed about 12 guys and i’m still trying to get things back to normal

GF: it sounds heady

AP: so it’s really been one thing after another…it’s like a theme of shit luck or something…i don’t think i’m imagining it…i’m more like experiencing it

GF: oh it’s real all right…well on the plus side, i cleaned my space nicely since I thought there was an inspection… and your girlfriend was there too, btw.  you thought you gave her the slip

AP: nuts!  And I thought I can sort of enjoy it this weekend I guess not

GF: I need some good luck with this sale.  If they tell me they aren’t flipping it, and are going to be dedicated landlords I’ll be like..  and this is a couple of years of instability, relieved finally that I actually have a home.  I like being high up in the mountains.  I can almost touch the clouds on certain days.

AP: so you’ll find out relatively soon what’s up i take it

GF: i would definitely be up for some pizza tonight, but i keep hearing about car accidents due to a couple of robots shooting the crap out of one of their command centers and there’s been rumour of this blizzard all week that’s messing up all the signals on top of the hill

AP: i would expect that.. if it’s the 456M’s, their lasers are like.. they never miss, but according to Mr. Jones, it’s sold, but the inspections have to happen, and a closing date has to come and go..  because the previous owner can still pay arrears up to that date and thwart the sale, and then I need to have a good understanding with the new owners that they are committed landlords, and not looking to buy/sell, or god help me, move in and displace.  I’ll kill them all if that happpens.

GF: but yah, best maybe not to drive anywhere.  potholes.. and your lambo isn’t great in bad weather to begin with

AP: no i drove to Dickies to grab coffee and see my sweety and almost wiped out several times

it’s not good on these roads at all

GF: yah, best to wait it out

AP: but maybe if tomorrow looks a bit better we can try the pizza thing.. maybe order wings

GF: yah, quite possibly

AP: you can come for dinner if you want… bring Barbara

GF: that’d be nice

AP: yah i have some presidents choice type frozen casseroles too.. I have some sort of chicken alfredo one that might be good to split…they are two portion sizes

GF: well i have to kind of avoid Barb right now.. i think my schitzo has something to do with stress, something to do with drinking a bit last night to deal with stress, and something to do with me consuming black market stuff lately and not caring…so i can’t pile on any more blue pills or purples either.. that said we can just get something else or something. 

AP: I have other things – honey garlic wings, or burgers..  there’s always Oleery’s if all else fails

GF: yeah.. we can figure something out

AP: yah

GF: anyway for now i’ll probably just head home and try to rest for a bit.. i’m just tired and stressed.  Papa stopped by lookin for me.. and you as well.  I had to run!  I managed to get back to HQ and now i’m going home to hop in bed

AP: ok rest up! i will catch you on the flippity flop

<80 hours later>

GF: you’re in this too! ############### <video link deleted>

AP: Do do do dommmm

GF: also, wondering if i can interview you for a special feature between Aldo and the machine gun guys…it’ll only take 15 mins

AP: Tomorrow…I just popped a zopi

GF: fair e nuff restful times approaching

AP: I think i just solved our little problem

GF: It’s such a matrix you have created…It’s funny,  I wrote to you..  im a sex slave now And five minutes later,  I’m like looking at your thread and it’s not there… Lol …I put that on my thread with Missy, Who has no point of reference, so I just had to spend a few moments giving her one lol But it works for me with her lol

AP: yeah.. bad news, I think we’re being tracked

GF: what you mean?

<end of conversation> 

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